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Living Life a Load Behind.

Living Life a Load Behind.

Every day I wake up with all the mom anxiety and guilt for living life a load behind.

The dishwasher never seems to stop running, we always have a load in the sink, marinating in old soapy water, waiting for its turn.

The laundry is always a pile too high and keeps growing some how with every passing minute.

The floors always need mopped, even if they’re still drying from their last washing.

My kid’s toys seem to come to life and spread themselves back on the floor as soon as they hit their respected bins.

But in all the chaos of our daily routine and chores one thing is never left unattended.


I get it honest. I remember when I was a kid going into our laundry room that housed 5 different wardrobes of clothing all waiting for their turn in the wash.


I remember a sink of dishes that would just have to wait one more meal.

I remember bedrooms with toys scattered everywhere and life in every corner.

And in that chaos of life, I never felt a load behind.


My mom spent every waking minute making sure all our wildest dreams/needs and adventures came true.


We read books to no end, played every make-believe game under the sun, baked, crafted, and ran around like the free spirits we were.

Everything could wait in that season of life for my mom, except us.

She taught us to value the little moments and make the small ones magnificent by simply being present and involved.

I’m sure she felt all the feelings I’m feeling now but never did she let it show to us that those loads building up were more important than the moment we were in.


Of course, as we grew up and started off on our own those loads started to grow less quickly, and eventually disappeared.


The house was spotless, but the walls were quiet.


She still shows us every day, that no matter what kind of load life throws you, family will always be first for her.

And our household couldn’t be more of a reflection of that.


While it may seem to outsiders that our life is a load behind, with dishes everywhere and piles to the sky of yesterday’s laundry, I hope my son sees his mom and dad as I did. They were explorers, and storytellers and wild west wranglers who are always up for any adventure with us and always in every memory at every turn of our lives.


I hope he never feels second to the crazy that this world and our lives brings.

As he grows, I hope he sees that these little moments are fleeting and to hold them precious, like we do, as they soon will only be a load of memories in our minds.

I hope he becomes a brother, father, and grandparent and still keeps that child in his heart so he can keep alive the same values and morals for his family and always puts them first no matter how chaotic life seems to be in every season..

I hope he always lives life a load behind.